Why I Love Reading Spoilers

Is Jon Snow dead.
Nope

I hate surprises. Always have. When I was a bouncy little kid, I’d park down in front of the Christmas tree and glare at all the neatly wrapped presents, willing myself to suddenly develop X-ray vision. It was like they were taunting me. I wasn’t allowed to touch them – my mom would know if I did, she always knew – so I just hunkered down beside them, face screwed up in a scowl, fingers curling and uncurling.

Not much has changed. As a semi-functioning nearly-adult, I’m still riddled with trust issues. When it comes to slasher flicks, I watch through the cracks in my fingers, on guard for jump scares while frantically googling to find out whose blood will be splattered across the screen. Same goes with bingeing on a new TV show – it’s not long before my fingers fly across my phone’s keys, pulling up Wikipedia entries and discussion threads.

Most people hate spoilers. That’s understandable. For them, the not-knowing is part of the experience. But I guess I must’ve missed the memo on that one, because being familiar with what happens next has never been that big a deal for me. In fact, once I find out so-and-so gets the chop, I’m usually even more inclined to tune in, just to see how it all plays out.

That said, I refuse to be that guy. You know the one. No bumping up Star Wars summaries in Facebook comments for me. And definitely no loud gushing about the ending to the latest X-Men movie as I scurry out of the theater. Respecting someone’s right to steer clear of spoilers is just important as choosing to indulge in them.

Even then, while I might touch base with, like, the major plot points – who gets off the island, who gets trapped in a fiery hell dimension, that sort of thing – I deliberately skim over the non-essentials. Everything in moderation. Because if you unwrap all your presents on Christmas Eve, once morning rolls around, you’ll find yourself empty-handed, surrounded by bits of wrapping paper and sticky tape. I learned that the hard way.

Word of warning: Cultured Vultures is going to start running Supergirl recaps in the near future, beginning with the pilot – courtesy of yours truly. Most viewers will already be caught up on the first half of season 1, but if you’re out of the loop, venture forth at your own peril.

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