How Do We Bring Up Our Children To Not Discriminate?

child sat on a log

Firstly, I’d just like to applaud anyone reading this who has children, or is working with children in some form, whether it’s teaching, nursing or otherwise, because I couldn’t do it.

You know how excited most people get for babies when they’re born? You know, how they coo over them, comment on how much they look like their parents – have a quiet word with yourself, it’s just been born, it looks like a potato with a face – and generally embarrass themselves? Not me. I’m that awful person who walks over, looks at said baby, wrinkles my nose and grunts, ‘Yup, it’s a baby alright.’ I just don’t think I was born with that particular bone in my body.

However, despite my questionable attitude towards babies and children, I understand that, to quote the late Whitney Houston, they are our future. Of course, they’re going to learn about the world in their own way, in their own time, and by their own means, but what we actually bestow upon them is going to affect the way that they look at things. It’s so, so important to teach children about certain values and how to respect everyone and treat them as equals. But how do we teach our children about discrimination, and how do we do it in a way that is ethical and won’t be detrimental to their own personal outlook?

Not being a parent, I struggled with how I would word this article without it coming across as all-knowing. I don’t claim to know more than others when it comes to moral judgement and prejudice – for me, I know how I like to be treated, so I treat people accordingly. Also, I know first hand that not everything you see as a child stays with you as you get older. My parents and I have completely opposite views when it comes to the way we look at things, and that was because I took on my own perspective of things as an adult.

Wanting to broaden my scope, I turned to Facebook. I asked my friends how they would teach their children about discrimination, about sexuality, about gender, about minority groups. I got replies from teachers, parents, expectant mothers, and friends who shared their experiences from what they were taught – the most interesting being a close friend who told me that after she’d been bitten by her brother, that her mother bit him to show him how it felt. Not exactly the most ethical way of teaching I’ve ever heard, but apparently it worked, so who am I to judge.

I got a fascinating insight into school teachings from several responses, one being from a friend who works in childcare. Starting from September, there’s an addition to the framework known as British Values. It means that children will be taught all religions, all cultures, and all lifestyles. The actual logistics of what ‘cultures’ and ‘lifestyles’ will be covered is unclear, but the idea of the programme is allow children to make their own choices through information and education. It’s certainly a move to be applauded, as children are often the most vulnerable when it comes to being taught about diversity, inclusion and respect.

What I got the most from the responses, though, was this: teaching children about discrimination is never easy. But the most important way to do it is to do it regularly. Be honest with them, and challenge everything that is inappropriate or offensive. Teaching your children to respect everyone, regardless of their sexuality, gender, race, religion or lifestyle choice, is the most important thing in their lives. And not everyone has the gift of empathy – it sometimes can have to be taught.

Another huge part of a child’s insight into discrimination can be found by the media. You can’t look anywhere at the moment without there being a story of Caitlyn Jenner, who is undoubtedly doing a fantastic job teaching people about the transgender community. The world today is ostensibly so much more accepting and open about things that even as short as twenty years ago were seen as inherently wrong.

Make no mistake about it: we are making way for a happier, more positive and free-spirited generation. We still have a long way to go when it comes to discrimination and prejudice, but if we can teach our children about the strength of being kind, and respecting everyone regardless of who they are, the journey may be a lot shorter.

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