Agony Auntie Pea Bo On Dating A Beautiful Ass

Agony Auntie Peaatre Bojangles

I asked a girl out recently, despite the fact I find her personality repulsive, because she has an amazing arse. Is it wrong to date someone purely out of a desire to see and feel their naked arse?

I really enjoy this job, for many reasons, but the main one is it reveals the horribly sexually possessed beings we are. I mean, we’re here to fuck, we all know this, many people have expressed this revelation and we’ve all gasped as if we never knew we spent most of our lives trying to insert into/insert things into ourselves. But here we are, humans, obsessing over the one area that inserting into would cause no function in our evolution.

Nonetheless, I will attempt to help and consequently probably not help at all.

I am going to assume you’re an idiot, because that helps not only my conscious, but constructing a valuable answer.

So, idiot, you’ve decided to commit yourself to someone, in life; every being of yourself and everything about you is shared with this one person, and you’re revealing this intimacy with someone you don’t even care for. You care solely for their arse. Why not date just the arse? Ever think of that? Of course not, we’ve established you’re an idiot already.

Become friends with a crazed scientist, but as you’ve made a decision to be with someone you don’t even like, I don’t believe you’re capable of speaking fully formed English sentences. So, pay someone to create an arse, which lives and breathes (I’m not a scientist, but I’m guessing it’ll breathe through the anus), to be with you forever. Downfalls include having to kiss the anus, be out in public, kiss the anus in public, lose any semblance of your existence, fall into deep depression, kill yourself, arse-girlfriend lives alone in this tortured world, kills itself too, scientist realises what he’s done and kills himself.

You’ve caused some deaths, life was pointless, but I think that’s what you were going for anyway.

Good luck sweetie x

Some of the coverage you find on Cultured Vultures contains affiliate links, which provide us with small commissions based on purchases made from visiting our site. We cover gaming news, movie reviews, wrestling and much more.