Our friends Maximum Games are at it again. Putty Squad’s story is remarkable and the fact that it even saw the light of day is worthy of applause. What isn’t worthy of anything, though, is the game itself.
Originally slated for release on the SNES, Amiga, and Sega Mega Drive, Putty Squad was cancelled before being given a strange and unexpected lease of life on newer platforms a few years back. It’s twenty years old and it shows throughout every second of gameplay, even if it had been a quick sheen to make it seem more current. What makes it worse is that this is just a port of a PS3 game, itself not even that beloved.
A platformer that really should have stayed on the shelf, Putty Squad’s biggest contribution to the gaming scene is for content for YouTubers, as you can see in Caddicarus‘ thoughts above.
What happens when a multiplayer game relies on absolute pacifism instead of the standard bullet storms and sword slashing? Nothing, except a lot of frustration. Weirdest of all, you can’t even interact with other players, making the whole thing feel like you’re waiting in a lobby for the real game to begin.
Wander’s a nice idea that was either wrongly approached or developed in the wrong hands, but the bottom line is that it just doesn’t work. Playing as an Ent without any personality, Wander sees you shuffling lazily around an island and exploring all of the nothingness there is to find. Even with a lack of much to do, Wander released with enough glitches to fill up the area you’re dawdling in.
It’s a novel premise that could have been so much better and is likely to be nailed by someone else in the future. If you want to tick off some trophies, though, you might be in luck.
5. Rugby World Cup 2015
Rugby is an acquired taste, particularly for most people outside of Europe. It doesn’t have the same wide appeal as football or its American counterpart, so it makes financial sense to not pour a great deal of money into a video game tie-in.
Apparently, though, HB Studios Multimedia thought 50p and half a button would be enough. Rugby World Cup 2015 holds the distinction of being one of the worst sports games ever and would make more sense if you took the 5 out of its title. It feels prehistoric.
The core gameplay just doesn’t work and it can’t even properly apply the rules of the sport, meaning that matches are more akin to extreme ironing than actual rugby. Chuck an unhealthy amount of bugs into the mix and you have an extremely naive sports simulator designed purely to cash in on tournament hype. Even if you’re a huge rugby fan, World Championship Rugby from 2004 will offer more.
I have a confession to make: I bought this game with real money with the intention of beating it solely for its easy Platinum trophy. An hour later and my pointless internet points be damned, it really was not worth the pain and suffering.
To say that Orc Slayer is basic would be a bit kind. It feels like it’s held together with a series of floppy disks and an orange connected to a tin can. That doesn’t make any sense, but neither does this game – you go from one arena to the next, shooting orcs and constantly missing because of the awful hitboxes, all the while wishing for the sweet release of death.
The framerate is hands down the worst of any game I have ever played. As soon as you have an automatic crossbow, everything slows right down, which gives you the opportunity to question if you’ve chosen the right path in life. Avoid at all costs, not even for the trophies.
You almost have to admire the balls on Recotechnology S.L. to create a game about one of the most maligned “sports” in the world. Bullfighting’s popularity is dwindling with each passing year as everyone wises up to just how not fucking cool it is, so the best thing Toro does is add another nail in the half-closed coffin.
Visually, Toro is a mess, a mix of dark and bright colours surrounded by dark edges – everything seems blocky and with low detail. The sand in the bullring looks flat and dead, the characters look flat and dead, the matador, you’ve guessed it, looks flat and dead.
Despite all that, Toro might appeal to people who wan–I can’t lie to you. This shouldn’t appeal to anyone. If it was a free browser game, sure, but not as a paid product on a console that has spawned the likes of Horizon: Zero Dawn and Uncharted 4.
2. Horse Racing 2016
Where do you start with this? Not only is it going to piss Dustin Hoffman off that his horse racing show was cancelled and yet this exists, but it also pisses me off just looking at it. This thing looks like it came bundled with Windows XP, but here we are, throwing another carcass onto the bonfire that is the PlayStation Store Quality Control team.
Horse Racing 2016 is also late to the party because it’s now 2017, but it would also be unfitting if it was brought out in 1907. The Edwardians would probably prefer to go down with cholera rather than sit through the awkward controls, weird mechanics, and lifeless horribleness of it all. The best thing about it is its loading screen.
If you can believe that it gets worse, it gets worse. It cost $15, the same amount of money that can buy you three or four amazing indie games. Buying a lame, old horse and riding it around town would be a better investment for anyone instead of this.
1. Life of Black Tiger
Like the black tiger waits patiently to catch its prey, you were probably all patiently waiting and expecting to find this take the top (or is that bottom?) spot for the worst game on PS4. It was almost inevitable; in a crowded sea of feces, Life of Black Tiger swims to the surface, one twitchy moving animation at a time.
Just like the brutally terrible Horse Racing 2016, Life of Black Tiger represents Sony needing a pretty long nap. It was released on their YouTube channel at the same time as the Nintendo Switch presentation. That’s either down to them losing all their calendars or somehow thinking that they could take a stick (incidentally, covered in quite a bit of shit) to a swordfight.
Life of Black Tiger is laughable yet also unbelievable. As you are commanded by poorly translated text to go and kill a set amount of humans or collect smells, it will all feel like a trance. Are you even here? Is this even happening? How expired was that milk I just drank? These are all perfectly reasonable thoughts to have when playing this game, which, by the fucking by, is available for free on mobile.
Even if its developer paid for a bunch of reviews, Life of Black Tiger would probably fail to even get past Steam Greenlight, so the fact that it’s on PS4 with promotion is beyond baffling. If you want to see evidence of Sony loosening their grip on quality control, look no further than this reminder that when the apocalypse comes, we probably deserve it.
What did I miss out? I know there’s a few stinkers I may have missed, so be sure to tell me which ones in the comments below.
If you think it’s all negative, check out my thoughts on the best PS4 exclusives and the overall best PS4 games. There’s plenty of quality in those, though none of them will change your life like Life of Black Tiger.
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