If Rock n Roll is Dead Then So Am I

So, it’s apparently finally happened, after being threatened for years. Rock ‘n’ Roll is apparently finally dead. Let’s hold a funeral. We’ll get Dimebag Darrell to drive the hearse at 200 miles an hour down the highway to hell, it’s been a good run, but wait, is it really over? Which know-it-all luminary has put the final nail in the coffin? Gene Simmons! Ah yes, that well respected music journalist. Well I’m sorry Mr Simmons, you couldn’t be more wrong if you tried.

Now I understand a little of what the oversexed, money grabbing, plastic-faced buffoon is blabbering on about, but there are a lot of reasons why the rest of the argument and the bold claim he is making is incredibly misplaced.

While it’s true that the majority of the commercial world is full with X-Factor “15 minutes of famers” like, oh you know, that guy… and famous body parts, like Nicki Minaj who is essentially just a pair of tits and a couple of cushions stuffed down her pants, Rock music and all it’s multiple sub genres was never about acceptance. It’s always historically been the soundtrack of the outlaw, the outcast and the safe haven for anyone who’s ever felt like a freak. As I type this, I do seem to recall that a rocker recently won the American X-Factor, and Kiss were backing him in the final, so someone has a selective memory.

Another gripe is that the alternative genre is exactly that, it was not made for the mainstream in the first place. I’m pretty sure that when Pantera were coming out with riffs so heavy they could knock down a house full of Elephants from 3 miles away, they weren’t thinking about having it played during a Children in Need montage or having a number one hit single for example.

Ol’ Gene’s little outburst is nothing new though, many people have come out with statements as bold as these, most famously and (with hindsight) incredibly stupidly on his part, Dick Rowe (of Decca Records) uttered:

“Groups are out. Four-piece groups with guitars particularly are finished.”

-1962 (while turning down The Beatles. You may have heard of them.)

Rock fans, as a general rule, don’t really pay much attention to the mainstream media as traditionally those sort of bands don’t really gauge success on how many number one hits they achieve or how many fans they’ll gain from advertising washing powder.

Onto today’s major issue. File sharing, this also being Simmons’ main point. The majority of rock fans in my opinion tend to buy albums and support their heroes, as they tend to be a lot more loyal than the here today, gone tomorrow fickle world of pop music. One quick look at the most pirated artists for example you will find the likes of Bruno Mars, Rihanna and Kanye West at the top of the list.

Now don’t get me wrong, rock bands have, and will continue to suffer because of the lack of money, ‘upcoming bands’ Japanese Voyeurs and Futures two of the groups lauded by Radio One and the music media for a while before halting way before their time due to lack of funds amongst other things. One of my personal favourite bands Reuben, went the way of the musical dinosaurs a few years ago too.

It’s not an easy task by any means, and a lot of rock and roll bands have to put in the hard graft in order to make it, Frank Turner for example, played his 1605th show as a solo artist in a tiny club in Barnsley recently while a lot of the more established legendary bands had 2/3 albums and many years touring before they began to make it. As a favourite line of one of the best Reuben songs goes;

“Well I got some news for you then my brother, this is a business like any other, you got your product, make money off it, you count your losses against your profits. And if you’re thinking so? So? You don’t know.”

– Jamie Lenman – ‘Return of the Jedi’ 2014.

Most however stay the course and slowly build up a following resulting in more people sitting up and taking notice and becoming headline acts in their own right. Recent examples being the meteoric rise of acts such as Biffy Clyro, You Me At Six, Avenged Sevenfold and Muse.

The above quote though, also ties in with the file sharing that Gene was talking about, but it doesn’t have to kill a band at all, in fact the majority adapt (sometimes to the cries of ‘sell outs’ from passing elitists) but that’s what rock n roll has done. The scene now is a far cry from the Beatles and Led Zeppelin’s time and in my opinion it is more varied and beautiful than it ever has been. Rock has a great history and it’s future is safe in the current crop of bands as far as I’m concerned.

After all, it’s survived classical music, big band, disco, etc and it will also survive this current crop of 4/4 dance beats and random bleeps that are apparently classed as music.

Even Radio 1 daytime is getting in on the act, a quick look on morning playlists reveals the likes of Mallory Knox, Lower Than Atlantis, nu-metal behemoths Slipknot and Royal Blood amongst others, being played on a daily basis alongside the sugar-coated, coma inducing, identical chart bothering nonsense of the moment. They even play bands that the general public may not have remotely heard of. The Nine Inch Nails influenced new track from ex-Underoath vocalist Spencer Chamberlain’s new project Sleepwave is being played on daytime Radio One, for example. PS. It’s an absolute belter!

UK media outlets aren’t completely forgetting the genre at all. The BBC for example have recently done programs on the history of the guitar riff, and coverage of festivals such as Radio One Rocks, Reading/Leeds and the growing popularity of Zane Lowe and Daniel P Carter’s shows and takeovers on Radio One leads one to wonder whether this question even really needs asking? What’s more, with upcoming albums by Foo Fighters, AC/DC, Weezer and Slipknot poised to sell in big numbers and add to their massive deserved reputations, it’s a wee bit premature. Plus, you know, Metallica headlined Glastonbury, and it was a great success, so there’s gotta be something there.

“It’s very sad for new bands. My heart goes out to them. They just don’t have a chance. If you play guitar, it’s almost impossible. You’re better off not even learning how to play guitar or write songs, and just singing in the shower and auditioning for ‘The X Factor.’”
-Gene Simmons 2014.

I think this part is the bit that wrangles me the most. How dare he tell young people what to think, in doing that he’s just as bad as Simon Cowell and his cronies who regularly ruin dreams live on television all in the name of so-called ‘entertainment’. It’s just insulting. Kids should be free to do whatever they want. Get together with friends, jam some songs, play some shows and knuckle down to write some quality songs. The sky is the limit with hard work and patience, for example young band You Me At Six were ‘upcoming young scamps’ on a single Kerrang online feature when they released the “Save It For The Bedroom” in 2007 and now look at them, a sold out arena tour. There is no reason why anyone else can’t do the same. Royal Blood, Lonely the Brave and Wrexham youngsters, Neck Deep, who are currently taking the Warped Tour and high end rock publications by storm, are recent proof of new bands breaking through this year.

So everyone, pick up your instruments, write some chords, sing about what’s real. Then practice, go down your local bars and venues and join us in worshipping at the alter of Rock ‘n’ Roll. We’ll all make him eat his words, however this won’t be a second coming, cause this religion never died.

*Not unless some sort of 2112 scenario happens (see Rush’s 1976 album of the same name. If you don’t know, ask your Dad) and the powers that be actively ban all guitars and destroy them.

But in case that ludicrous situation shouldn’t occur, sorry Gene.