Horror Movies in 2016 Still To Look Forward To

So far, 2016 has offered up a pretty varied platter in terms of horror. We’ve been treated with such fantastically stylised and terrifying items as ‘The Neon Demon’ and ‘Don’t Breathe’ whilst also having to endure a flurry of turgid schlock the likes of ‘The Other Side of the Door’, ‘The Boy’ and many, many more. However, the year is not over yet and as we approach Halloween season and the nights grow ever darker the schedules are beginning to build up with a whole new selection of blood, gore and monsters for horror fans to enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: It is important to note that these films have been selected using two main criteria: that they are officially listed under the horror genre by the studios and that are getting their main theatrical release (not the initial release) in the latter half of 2016 (Sept-Dec). This means that most of the dates listed refer to the US release date. However, due to film festivals and delayed DVD releases, it can be hard to say when a film is truly released. On that note, just be aware that these are defined as 2016 films by their primary theatrical release date.

 

Yoga Hosers – September 2nd

September kicks off with the embarrassingly narcissistic horror comedy ‘Yoga Hosers’ directed by the untalented and over-opinionated “voice of a generation” Kevin Smith starring his daughter, Johnny Depp’s daughter and the walking shambles himself, Johnny Depp. This movie will be trash. In fact, it already is trash according to audiences of both the Sundance and Edinburgh film festivals. It’s incredible that Smith and Depp (who consider this as a ‘passion project’) had the outright audacity to present this self-promoting shite at two such esteemed events but what more do you expect from two of the most unjustly self-entitled individuals in Hollywood?

This film barely constitutes as horror with all its campy nonsense and desperate bids at humour. The trailer reveals very little substance to the plot or characters other than typical clichés and stale gags. The reality is that ‘Yoga Hosers’ exists only as a platform for Smith and Depp to desperately try and catapult their unfortunate offspring into the limelight so that their fading legacy may carry on kicking and screaming. The only justification I had for adding this abomination to the list was because I needed something really awful to get me going and I think it did the job. Heed my warning and avoid this film.

 

When the Bough Breaks – September 9th

As we progress through the month we are presented with another title which despite having the word “horror” on the box fills me with a huge sense of doubt. ‘When the Bough Breaks’ comes to us from director Jon Cassar who, for the last 20 years, has been subjected to solely directing TV and only recently has made his big break onto the silver screen. Perhaps this inexperience is the reason as to why the trailer doesn’t actually seem like a horror movie trailer at all. Whatever the reason, ‘When the Bough Breaks’ is to horror what Blink 182 is to punk rock – a meek imitation.

The story follows a wealthy couple who are unable to conceive a child and invest in a surrogate mother who at first seems lovely but, shock twist; she turns out to be a psychopath. Obviously, trouble ensues however the way the story, characters and plot are represented in the trailer give the impression that this is more of a tame thriller with occasional dark elements as opposed to a full out horror. The trailer doesn’t even submit to any of the formulaic horror trailer tropes of jump scares or tense build up and the music choice (Paradise Circus – Massive Attack) is bewilderingly inappropriate. Furthermore, all the promotional material for the film suggests anything but horror but the studio insists that this is a horror movie and so I am obliged to add it to the list if not only to serve as filler. I don’t think I’ll be watching ‘When the Bough Breaks’ when it hits cinemas.

 

Blair Witch – September 15th

It was a tediously slowly build up but finally I can present a title which not only totally fulfils the requirements of what it means to be horror but also a film that genuinely fills me with unbridled anticipation. ‘Blair Witch’ is an official sequel to the seminal 1999 found footage masterpiece ‘The Blair Witch Project’ and it’s being written and directed by the duo that brought us ‘V/H/S’ and ‘You’re Next’; both films that I recommend highly.

The trailer for the film caught us all off guard when it hit YouTube only a month before it’s September release and furthermore the studio were desperate to shroud the project in secrecy by even referring to it under a fake name whilst in production. All these elements put together create a perfect storm of hype; however the question as to whether the film will be able to hold a candle to its predecessor still goes unanswered.

‘Blair Witch’, thankfully, has chosen not to rip off the original and avoids using found footage however, from the trailer at least, it appears that the visuals will rely heavily on Dutch angles and shaky cam. Despite my anticipation, I can’t help but feel that not only is this film unnecessary to the franchise, but it also comes across as potentially just being another generic Hollywood horror cash grab using the Blair Witch name to smuggle itself under the radar. As a fan of the original, my main concern is that they don’t end up disregarding the aspects of the first film that made it so great. It was all about gradually creating a sense of dread within the viewer so that when the real horror presented itself in the last few minutes of the film, it was all the more terrifying.

Though the trailer and promotional material is not entirely convincing, there have been some good words from critics and so I will keep an open mind for ‘Blair Witch’ and just pray that the studios don’t go ahead and shit all over another one of my favourite titles.

 

31 – October 21st

I don’t know who keeps giving Rob Zombie money to make films but I feel like it is our responsibility to find them and make them stop. Yes, that’s right, the rebellious teenager of horror directors Rob Zombie is back with his newest film ‘31’ which, if the promotional material is to be believed, will be his “most twisted film yet”. The setup is pretty straight forward: five carnival workers are trapped in an abandoned carnival and are forced to play a game which involves them attempting to survive various violent incursions inflicted upon them by a gang of sadistic clowns.

With characters named the likes of “Sex-Head” and “Father Murder” we would be foolish to expect any subtlety or nuance from this wannabe grindhouse catastrophe. Just from the trailer you can tell that the typical excessive and depraved stylings of the so-called Mr Zombie are superfluous in every aspect of the film and if you’re into that sort of thing then you’re probably going to love it. You’re also probably a fucking maniac but that’s subjectivity for you. If you’re a normal human being, this might not be the film for you.

At this point I refuse to ever be excited for a Rob Zombie movie because everything he touches turns to shit. He revels in excess and imitation which, in my opinion, is not a fair substitute for style. The saddest thing of all is that the production quality still looks pretty impressive and they’ve even managed to wheel esteemed actor Malcolm McDowell out of the nursing home and get him to prance around in white makeup for it. Rob Zombie, you must be stopped.

 

Tell Me How I Die – September 16th

‘Tell Me How I Die’ is another title which has injected some much needed discussion into the horror community this year. It is the tale of a groups of college students (who the target demographic will be able to relate to) who take part in an experimental drugs trial in a lab in the middle of nowhere for quick cash. Inevitably, the drugs produce an unfortunate side effect and the plucky young adults begin to be haunted by horrific visions of their own demise. The premise is far from subtle but I will excuse it entirely if it turns out to produce a remotely interesting film.

Though I was not totally impressed by the trailer, it seems that if executed well this idea could actually lead to the making of an entertaining and unique horror film. They don’t actually show too much in the trailer and I am curious to see what kind of twists the story takes as the side effects of the drug begin to accelerate. There is definitely scope for gore and real, blood pumping terror with this and if I were a betting man (which I definitely am) I would say this film may end up feeling a bit like a good Final Destination movie.

I don’t expect anything great from this title, but I still believe it is showing enough promising signs that it could turn out to be a fun movie. Even the name of the drugs company as shown in the trailer, Hallorann, is a reference to the character Hallorann in ‘The Shining’ which I suspect is reflective of how the side effects of the drug in the film are similar to the shine that both Hallorann and Danny possess in Stephen King’s novel. I know it’s a small thing, but this tiny detail may be a sign that the filmmakers actually know what they’re doing. This film will probably be okay and that’s all I really need.

 

ClownTown – September 30th

After two relatively interesting titles, we return now to our usual shameless schlock and this time round it comes in the form of Tom Nagel’s ‘ClownTown’, a run of the mill stereotypical scary clown flick with bad acting, bland monsters and mediocre effects. It’s a low budget indie production and this seems very evident in the quality of every aspect of the film. It’s obvious that they had no ambition to be anything more than a cheap scary movie with clowns, and I can respect that to an extent, but clearly they failed to meet any of the requirements of what makes a passable film.

Clowns are an easy monster because the juxtaposition of a happy faced gentleman wielding a machete is something our primitive monkey minds can’t quite get to grips with and this makes them a good idea for a cheap production such as this. The problem is that the designs are lazy as is the plot and with a cast of Z-list nobodies at the helm all the film can hope to do is drag its sorry carcass through a minefield of pathetic clichés until it finally fills the 90 minute mark. Sadly, at 86 minutes, it even fails to do that.

 

Under the Shadow – September 30th

If it so happens that on the 30th of September you find yourself in a cinema and you are struggling to decide between watching the aforementioned ‘ClownTown’ or ‘Under the Shadow’ (both being released on the same day) then I beg of you to use your brain and choose the latter. ‘Under the Shadow’ is the first feature film to come from Babak Anvari and it looks fantastic. Set in the already horrific era of post revolution 1980’s Tehran, it tells the tale of a mother and daughter who find an insidious evil residing in their home.

The premise is not a very unique one, but nonetheless is has proven to be a formula that works time and time again. The story of a family living in haunted house is perfect in its simplicity as it allows every other aspect of the film to flourish without being hindered by a convoluted or unnecessarily complex plot. It worked to great effect with ‘The Babadook’ (2014) and I have great faith that ‘Under the Shadow’ will be a similar small success for foreign indie horror. Don’t let the subtitles put you off – with the recent passing of the great Iranian director Abbas Kiarostami, perhaps now is the time we should all be delving into the gems of Iranian cinema and ‘Under the Shadow’ might make for a good starting place.

NEXT PAGE