Do you have that friend who you just completely fucking hate? Or maybe you have a sibling that you wish didn’t share the same DNA? Then you, my vindictive chum, are in luck thanks to this ultimate collection of hate-shipping sites out there on the big evil web.
PoopSenders.com
Pretty self-explanatory really. From a customer review: “I sent a pile of poop to my neighbor that lets her dog shit in everybody’s yard. She must have gotten the message because now she carries a plastic bag around with her and actually cleans up after the dog. She never did that before. Thanks for a job well done.”
BirdByMail.com
Ever felt like your middle finger just isn’t papery enough? For the absolute in passive-aggressive trolling, you can send your loved ones (and maybe even the ex-boss that felt your thigh that one time) the bird in the mail. If you want to get back at someone who ruined your life, this could TORMENT THEM for like five minutes.
MailBricks.com
“Bricks are great. This brick can break windows, be used as a weapon, and cause damage to a variety of precious items and not so precious people. ALTERNATIVELY, this brick can be used to create magnificent walls, buildings, shelters, homes, art, and has been used in many forms over thousands of years. This IS a building block, but can be used to destroy as well as create. I implore you to use it for the better good, and instead of breaking my heart with it, would you instead build a foundation for our continued friendship, and be my valentine?”
Not much else to say.
DicksByMail.com
I think it’s worth clearing up off the bat that you can’t send actual dicks in the mail. Well, legally at least. DicksByMail sends $15 worth of gummy willies to your closest enemy, who might even become your best friend once they realise how delicious gummy sweets actually are. Refraining from any sucking jokes so hard ri–DAMN IT.
ShipYourFriendsNothing.com
The most evil entry on this list by virtue of just how crazy it will drive your recipient. You can choose either a small envelope or box filled to the brim with…absolutely nothing. Imagine their face when they realise they have to go all the way to the Post Office to claim an empty package.
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