5 Awful Picture Quotes That Need To Stop

Editor’s note: if you’re easily offended, this might not be the article for you. Here, look at this posing baby and dog instead.

Let me start with something: about 90% of the time, I absolutely adore Facebook. It’s an opportunity for me to keep up with friends, see what kind of things are going on in the world, read fascinating articles from people with vast and differing opinions, and also a place where you can develop serious self-worth issues when you see that half of your friends are already married with a mortgage and several children while you’re drowning in your overdraft and still living with your parents.

And then we come to the 10%.

Sometimes, you can’t avoid certain things. Like, y’know, the hideously nauseating sentimental pictures of a horizon with an illegible font quoting a supposed saying from Albert Einstein or Abraham Lincoln. Or, someone posting a picture of some needy kids and guilt tripping you into ‘sharing’ it if you have the heart.

These have all appeared on my Facebook at some time or another, which just emphasises how much I really need a clearout. So, without further adieu, just because I love you all that much, here are my top five worst.

 

1.

Ah yes, because it’s always the woman’s fault, isn’t it? This is a rather typical one that is featured on every clingy girl’s Timeline. You know, that kind that call their boyfriend ‘bae’ and threaten to cut out a girl’s pancreas with a rusty butter knife if they dare to ask their significant other how their day is going.

 

2.

I’ve covered this before in an article I wrote last year. It’s far easier to judge someone else for their appearance than it is to look at your own. How about we stop comparing the two and lambasting someone else for their natural body shape and celebrate everyone’s, regardless of whether they’re a size 6 or size 26?

Just a thought.

 

3.

Here’s an idea, you sanctimonious drip: shut the fuck up and focus on something other than how you look.

 

4.

Now this one’s a corker, and I’m amazed at how many ‘likes’ this actually gets whenever it’s posted. So now people are questioning their own kindness and considering screwing someone else over just because they think they might be being nice?

I know that unsolicited advice can be a little bit twattish, but here goes: stop this nonsense. Carry on being ‘too nice’. There’s no such fucking thing. If someone else wants to be callous, and vindictive, and manipulative, and use their own means to screw you over, let them. Walk away from it. They’re going to be the ones who end up lonely and self-loathing when they realise that everyone has figured them out for the vipers that they are. Whereas people will appreciate you for your loveliness and keep coming back for it. If your character and heart ‘isn’t built like that’, then don’t allow it to be. Don’t let arseholes taint you. They’re not worth it. Not even nearly.

 

5.

No.